Conspiracy Theory #1: The Chronovisor

Posted by Tobi Tarwater on Monday, June 24, 2024
So, I'm thinking I'm going to start a new thread series, but not any thread series about latest scientific theories or the latest political events of the Middle East (though them Iranians are getting a little rebellious, if I do say so). No, this thread series will be about various Conspiracy Theories. The first theory? The Chronovisor

The Chronovisor has a very religious origin. After all, a Catholic priest was said to invent it.

So Not Wiki:

unmuseum.org said:

Father Ernetti described a device he called a "chronovisor" that looked a bit like a television. Instead of receiving broadcasts from local transmission stations, however, the chronovisor could tune into the past to allow the viewer to see and hear events that had occurred years or even centuries earlier. Father Ernetti told Brune that the machine worked by detecting all the sights and sounds that humanity had made that still floated through space. Father Brune wanted to know if Father Ernetti and his collaborators had been able to see the crucifixion of Christ. Ernetti replied, "We saw everything. The agony in the garden, the betrayal of Judas, the trial - Calvary."


Father Ernetti offered a photo of Jesus' face during the crucifixion as proof, along with the text to a long lost Quintus Ennius play Thyestes. Ennius is considered the "Father of Latin Poetry," so the claim to have copied down the text as the play occurred to him through the Chronovisor is quite amazing.

The picture of Jesus; however, was soon proven to be a mirror-image of another picture being sold at the Sanctuary of Merciful Love in Collevalenza, Italy. The play, when later examined, was considered to be written by someone with limited skills in Latin. Also, some of the words used didn't exist in the Latin language until nearly 200 years after the play was supposed to be written. Looks like Father Ernetti is in some hot water.

Years later, the editors of the book Father Ernetti's Chronovisor,(I know, what a creative name), received a letter from a supposed "relative" of Father Ernetti's claiming that Ernetti professed on his deathbed that his evidence was fake, (as we have proven already), however Ernetti insisted the Chronovisor existed. The "relative" refused to give their real name, as is to be expected. We can't actually have someone to go and question, or this would be a horrible Conspiracy Theory.

At the death of Father Ernetti things get sketchy. Some say the Chronovisor is forever lost, some say the Vatican has it locked away in a secret vault, and others say it is being used by the secret society that secretly controls our world to see past and future events.

As all good conspiracy theories are, this one is sort of grounded in truth. Some believe the Chronovisor measures long past radiation imprints from events that have long since occurred, sort of like what some use to explain the presence of ghosts. This is a bastardization of the background radiation in our own Universe, which is used as proof of the Big Bang Theory. Rather unimaginative.

Also adding to the relative truth of the Chronovisor, technically speaking we are surrounded by simple Chronovisors. Security cameras allow us to see back in time all the time, and grab photos of events that have long past. Mirrors allow us to see ourselves millionth of a second past, as long as it took for the light to bounce from our arms and face to the mirror and back to our eyes. Telescopes allow us to see stars as they were millions upon millions of years ago, or as long as it took for the light from the stars to reach the lens.

Another theory as to how the Chronovisor works is the all mysterious Akasha Records. The Akasha records are basically a really long magnetic tape that is recorded with all the events of our past, present, and future. Famous psychic Edgar Cayce was said to have been able to tap in and read these Records, as was a man known simply as "Bhrigu." Basically, invent something that can read the sound and magnetic waves imprinted on the Akasha Records, and you can see back to any event in time. Oh, and conveniently, the Akasha Records are invisible and unable to be heard. Unless of course you're tapping into them.

Now. People close to Father Ernetti say he was a well respected man, known not to make wild accusations and weird assumptions. He spent most of his life researching and studying various topics, with a specialty in archaic music. He was a quiet intellectual, and as already said, was extremely well respected by anyone who knew him. But, the question stands. Was Father Ernetti a crackpot who simply saw things in a TV? Or is there more to his magical Chronovisors?

Credit: unmuseum.org

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